I would like to thank all my friends who kept telling me that I should write DM Fan fictions besides coming up with ideas for others to write. This is a Steve hurt/comfort and/or a Steve/Mark Relationship Story.

This is a Steve based story.

Author’s Note: I like ‘By Reason of Insanity’ but it has always bothered me that no one especially Mark acknowledged what Steve had done while the con was choking. So I wrote this ending scene. While doing this one a different direction to take the ending came to me. As a result here are two versions of my ending to this episode.

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By Reason of Insanity

Alternate Ending One

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Jump to Alternate ending two

Morning after By Reason of Insanity

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Steve gets up goes upstairs and sees his dad moping at the breakfast table.

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“Dad what’s wrong?”

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.…“I’m feeling guilty about the way I behaved yesterday.”

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“Dad, I don’t understand.” Steve says questioning what his dad was talking about.

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“Steve you were responsible also for saving that con’s life.”

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“Dad it’s ok.”

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“No, Steve it is not ok. I took the time to tell Jesse he was good at anagrams but I can’t even take the time to tell my own son I’m proud of him when I heard what happened. It’s bad enough that the con only thanked George for saving his life, but when I first heard what happened I should have told you how proud I was, how proud of you I am everyday and I’m sorry I didn’t.”

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“Thanks dad that means a lot to me.”

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Mark goes up to Steve gives him a hug and says “thanks Steve. Thanks for everything you do, and to show my appreciation I’ll take you anywhere you want to go for lunch.”

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“The hospital cafeteria?” Steve says excitedly.

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Mark sighs and says “yes the hospital cafeteria.”

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Closing Credits

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By Reason of Insanity

Alternate Ending Two

By: Betty

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Jump to Alternate ending one

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Chief Masters comes storming into Dr. Sloan’s office. “I want a word with you Dr. Sloan." Chief Masters bellows.

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“What can I do for you Chief?”

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“I want to know why one of my best men.. My best man is leaving. We need the Lieutenant here.”

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“I don’t understand. Steve’s not going anywhere.”

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“Then why has he filled out a request for a transfer?” The Chief says while shoving the request forms in Mark’s hands. The signature without a doubt is his son’s.

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“I don’t know but I’ll ask him. Is he at work?”

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“No he requested a little leave to start packing. Said he had some things to settle before he left.”

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“Where’s he going?”

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“I’m sorry he specifically requested that we not give his whereabouts to anyone, no exceptions.”

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“I’m going home right now to have a talk with my son. I’ll find out what this is all about.”

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Mark drives home all the time thinking “why is Steve doing this to me? I’ve given him everything he could wish for.”

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Mark reaches the driveway pulls in and stops the car and goes directly to his son’s unit. “Steve can I come in?”

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“Why not it’s your house isn’t it?”

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“Steve why are you behaving this way I don’t understand.”

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“You don’t understand?”

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“No Steve I don’t.”

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“Dad tell me what happened the other day with your friend George in the lockup?”

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“What do you mean?”

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“What happened?" Steve says letting his temper get to him. Steve hardly ever lost control but his dad’s complete lack of understanding was infuriating him.

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“A con was choking and George saved his life.”

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“Dad are you sure that’s what happened. George is schizophrenic how could he have performed the operation?”

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“You were there Steve.”

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“Oh really I was there Steve says sarcastically.”

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“Wait you were the one that helped George.”

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“I was the one who ‘helped George’? Dad I took the pen out of my pocket opened it up. I did the cutting.”

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“Oh!” The light finally coming to Mark.

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“Now Dad what happened when the con man and George left the hospital?”

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“The con man thanked George for saving his life.”

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“And what else?”

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“… Nothing else.”

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“I was panicking calling for a medic. I had never done something like this before. Afterwards no one acknowledged what part I did. Not even you Dad. I know you must have found out. There isn’t anything that happens in that hospital without your knowledge I’m sure of it. It was bad enough that con didn’t say anything.. And George is sick, but you Dad, what excuse do you have?”

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“Son I..”

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“Forget it Dad. Just answer me one question.”

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“Alright Steve.”

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“Name two times in my life when you have said that you are proud of me and I don’t mean when I was in high school and I scored the winning touchdown or sunk the winning basketball. I mean since I’ve joined the force.”

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Mark thinks for a minute. “Remember the time I came home early and you were sitting down reading a report and I told you I hardly ever thank you for all the things you do I was going to make you a nice steak?”

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“Yes Dad and it was very good thank you. That’s one. Now the other time?”

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Mark thinks for awhile. After 5 minutes Steve gives up. Dad, I’m leaving I hope you won’t insist on the customary one month’s notice between tenant and landlord?”

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“No…Steve.” Mark says shocked.

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“I’ve got to go now I have to arrange with Jesse how my shares of Bob’s will be handled. I’ll be having my shares put into a secret account. I’ll be the silent partner for awhile. And Dad don’t try to get Jesse to tell you where I’m going. I’ve made him give the Hippocratic Oath not to say anything. He learned from you about doing no harm to his patients. …. I just wish I could tell Amanda. Please tell her I’m sorry I didn’t tell her. I know that sooner or later she would breakdown and tell you.”

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“Steve wait can’t we work this out?”

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“I’m sorry Dad, you should have thought of this a long time ago like when you were always complimenting Jesse on everything like being good at anagrams.”

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Mark is trying to control the tears from falling down. “Steve, son when are you leaving?”

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“Some time in the next day or so. I’m not telling you when I don’t want you to drive me to the airport and find out where I’m headed.”

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“Will you be back…. Call me from time to time.” Mark says as he can no longer stop the tears from flowing.

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“I don’t know. Not for awhile. I need some space between the two of us. Maybe, some time in the future I can no longer let it bother me that you compliment everyone but me.. Your own son.”

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A few days have gone by and Steve has severed all ties to California, but especially his father. He has sent Amanda a basket full of chocolates. With a note saying ‘I’m sorry,’ signed ‘a friend’. He has been living in a motel for a few days until it was time to leave. Finally it was time to leave and he was on his way to Florida. While in the airplane he remembered the last conversation he had with Jesse.

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?“Steve please reconsider your dad loves you.”

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“Well Jesse he has a funny way of showing it. I’m tired of waiting for him to tell me he’s proud of me, of what I do, of the kind of man I am. .. I don’t know what you are so upset about Jesse you’ve always wanted to have my dad as your father with me out of the way there’s no stopping you.”

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“But Steve…”

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“I’m sorry Jesse I can’t take it anymore. Maybe what we really need.. What I really need is some space. Maybe I’ll get out there and decide to take the first flight back and beg the captain to let me on the force again I don’t know.”

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“Steve will you call me as soon as you can?”

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“Yes Jesse but if my father is anywhere near I’m hanging up.”

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Steve and Jesse had said their goodbyes. Steve looked out the plane. He could see his new home Jacksonville Florida.

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Mark had Jesse stay at the beach house as much as possible. He knew that he could never ask Jesse to break his Hippocratic Oath. Just like Steve knew he couldn’t. But he was hoping that Jesse would somehow let a clue slip out and he could gather the information on his own where his son was now living. Steve had planned well only those people in the police department whom, he knew could be trusted were told.

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Six months had gone by. There was hardly a moment where Mark didn’t think of his son. Wish he could turn back the clock and tell Steve how proud of him he was especially saving that con’s life. Mark knew now that that incident where he had failed once again to show gratitude to his son was the last straw that had broken the camel’s back.

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Steve had spent his time getting used to his new precinct and his new captain. Although Captain Benson was a nice man Steve had missed taking orders from Captain Newman and the stern looks from Chief Masters.

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Steve had chosen Jacksonville Florida because it was close to the beach. He thought it strange but pleasant to be able to surf on the Atlantic Ocean instead of the Pacific Ocean where he had surfed most of his life.

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Steve came back to his apartment after a hard day at work. Not that there was a lot to do. What made it hard was it was so boring. The biggest thing that he had to do that day was to stop an old man from robbing a grocery store. When Steve found out that the only reason the man had done it was because his social security benefits went down but that his landlord had raised his rent leaving the poor man with not enough food. Steve had taken pity on the old man and had helped him find a cheaper place to live, and he made arrangements for charities to provide meals to the old man, and companionship, which Steve felt was the old man’s biggest problem. The lack of having someone to talk to. Steve knew how the old man felt.

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Steve had been living alone for months. Sure, he had an occasional date, had met some friends since living in Florida but he was missing Jesse, Amanda, and as much as Steve hated to admit it - his father. Steve looked at his calendar. There were two weeks until Father’s Day. Steve circle that day on his calendar. He would call his dad on that day and see how things stood between the two of them.

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Jesse and Amanda were worried about Mark. More then they had been. They knew that Father’s Day was coming. They also knew how empty Father’s Day was going to be to Mark not to have Steve with him. Oh they tried to cheer him up spent as much time at the beach house as they could and Mark would allow them to but even when Mark was trying to put on a happy face they knew he was missing his son and wishing that he could somehow turn back the clock and tell Steve how proud he was each and every day.

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Mark sat in his office looking at a picture of Steve in his police uniform he kept in his wallet. “Steve if you’d only come back to me I’ll? never let a day go by when I don’t tell you how proud I am of you and how much you mean to me.”

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Father’s Day had arrived. Steve had decided to work that Sunday figuring it would help keep his mind off thoughts of his father and friends. Steve would call his father during his lunch break. While he was reading up on one of his cases making sure he had all the information he needed to get an arrest his captain came up to him.

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“Yes Captain Benson.”

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“Lieutenant Sloan we need you on a stakeout.”

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“But I was going to call my dad during my lunch break sir.”

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“I thought you and your dad had a falling out Lieutenant and that is why you requested this transfer in the first place.”

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“Yes, sir but I was hoping after all this time things would be different between the two of us.”

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“I’m sorry Lieutenant but I need you. It should only be a couple of hours and then you can call your father tonight.”

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“Ok sir.”

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Mark spent Father’s Day at work . Since he didn’t have his son to celebrate with him he had no desire to stay at home and relax. Jesse and Amanda had asked him to spend the day with them, while he appreciated the thought that they would consider him their father all Mark wanted was his son Steve.

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Mark had taken a break to eat in his office although it was hard for him to eat while thoughts of happier Father’s Days with his son kept playing in his head. He was almost done when the phone rang.

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“Hello Dr. Sloan.”

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“Hello this is Captain Benson of the Jacksonville Florida Police Department I’m sorry to tell you, your son Steve was seriously injured in a shootout a short time ago.”

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“How is.. he?” Mark had trouble getting the words out as a phone call much like this one echoed in his head.

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“He’s been shot in the chest. It doesn’t look like he’ll make it Doctor. ..I’m so sorry things couldn’t have been worked out between the two of you but I thought you should know I think your son was having doubts. He was planning on calling you during his lunch break.”

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“I’m coming as soon as I can.” “Wait! Captain Benson shouted. “I’ve already made arrangements for your transportation, Chief Masters and Captain Newman helped.” “Thanks,” was the only word that Mark could get out.

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Mark went looking for Jesse and Amanda to tell them the news. “Oh Mark I’m so.. Sorry.” Amanda sobbed. “Mark I wish I would have told you sooner where Steve was maybe this could have been prevented.”

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“Jesse this isn’t your fault. If it’s anyone’s fault it’s mine. I’m the one that drove Steve away.. Not paying attention to his needs. His need to know how much he means to me.

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Transportation had been arranged and Mark was on his way to Florida. He should had known Steve would have chosen some place where he could enjoy surfing and be away from his father Mark thought.

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On the airplane Mark thought that the bullet that hit Steve’s chest didn’t come close to what he had inflicted on his son all those times he had told others but not his son that they were good at a certain task. “Just one more chance. One more chance.” He chanted to himself.

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The plane landed and Mark was directed as quickly as possible to the hospital where Steve was.

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Luckily Captain Benson was a better police officer then he was a fortune teller. Steve’s injuries although severe could have been a lot worse. The bullet had just missed Steve’s heart.

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Mark was led to the room where his son laid unconscious. The operation was a success and Steve would live. Although Mark knew Steve would be in pain for some time. Mark sat down took a long look at his son, and then looked at his watch. It was after 11p.m. less then an hour to spend Father’s Day with his son. Mark vowed if Steve allowed it next year would be better.

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Mark stayed by Steve’s side all through the night just watching Steve sleep. He had been given V.I.P. treatment and had been allowed to stay way past visiting hours. Later that morning Steve started to wake up. He felt someone touching his hand. Carefully, he opened his eyes at first afraid of the lights. He smiled as he realized that his dad was here. His dad had dropped everything and had come all this way just to see him.

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“Da…d” Steve says groggily.

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Mark immediately woke up not realizing he had fallen asleep in the chair holding his son’s hand.

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“I’m here son, I’m right here.”

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“I’m sorry.. I doubted you.”

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“Steve you have nothing to be sorry for. It’s me who should do the apology. While you’ve been away? I have thought about it a lot. I have been telling lots of people over the years how good they are at things but I’ve been taking you for granted. Not letting you know each and everyday how proud I am of you was wrong of me. Very wrong of me. And there has not been a day that has gone by that I wished I could turn back the clock and tell you how proud I am of you.”

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“Dad, I don’t know how long it will take or even if Chief Masters and Captain Newman will take me back but I need to know that if I’m able to transfer back to the LAPD that there’s a place for me to live?”

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Mark smiled and said “Steve the beach house is your home also for just as long as you want. And I don’t think we have to worry about Chief Masters and Captain Newman taking you back.” Steve stared at his father not quite understanding. “Steve how do you think I was able to get out here so fast. They arranged everything. I hope you don’t mind but I asked them to start the process of your transfer already. This time it was Steve who smiled.

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“Dad I really appreciate you coming all the way out here. I know how you are when you are worried about me so I know you haven’t ate. Please go get something to eat I’ll be fine.”

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“Ok Steve. I’ll get a sandwich or something in a little while but you get some more rest. Mark took a close look at his son and didn’t like what he saw. Steve was hiding something again. How do you feel?”

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“It hurts a little.” Steve admitted.

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Mark knew that if Steve said ‘It hurts a little’ then his son must be really hurting. He asked to see a nurse and notified her of Steve’s need for medication and his constant persistence when hospitalized not to need medicine even when it is quite obvious he’s in pain.

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Only when Mark saw that Steve had fallen asleep did he leave his son’s room to grab a bite in the cafeteria. Then Mark decided to take a short walk realizing that Steve would be asleep for several hours. Mark was glad he had been given another chance to show his son how much he cared. Mark intended to keep his promise and not let a day go by without letting Steve know how proud he was.

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Steve had slept a lot those first few weeks. Mark had kept himself busy by arranging for Steve’s things that he had in his apartment shipped to the beach house. He also paid the deposit and other fees for Steve.

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As the weeks went by Steve became stronger. His request for a transfer back to California had been approved. Chief Masters, and Captains Newman and Benson were more than pleased that Steve and Mark had made up.

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Finally Steve was ready to be released. Both Mark and Steve wanted to head out to California as soon as possible. Mark found a flight that was leaving for California in a few hours.

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Before Mark wheeled Steve out of the hospital Steve asked to visit the store in the hospital so he could get a gift for Amanda. He looked around and finally chose a gift basket. Once again it had lots of chocolates in it. Steve signed the card. “I’m sorry Amanda for leaving the way I did. I hope we can still be friends.” Steve wanted to hand deliver it to Amanda. Unknown to Steve while Steve was filling out the forms to be checked out Mark had added his own message “I’m sorry too Amanda. This whole thing is my fault.”

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While on the airplane en route to California Steve remembered a conversation he had with Jesse shortly before he was to return home. “Jess I’m warning you, you had better not have messed with the menu at Bob’s.” “Of course not Steve how could you think a thing like that?” “Jess whatever you did you better have the menu back the way it was before I left.” “Yes Steve.. And Steve it’s going to be great to have you back.” “It’s going to be great to see you again too Jess.”

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The first day that Steve is back home: Mark comes home and sees Steve resting on the couch reading a book. It will still be several weeks before he’s allowed back on duty then Mark sees the mail on the table. “Steve thanks for getting the mail I really appreciate it.” “Thanks Dad.”

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The second day Mark comes home, and Steve is just getting the pizza out of the oven. “Thanks Steve you don’t know how much I appreciate this.” “Dad it came from a box.” “Well no one could heat it up like you son. “Thanks Dad.”

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The third day Mark comes home and sees Steve and says “Steve I…” “Dad will you stop this! This constant praising over every little thing I do is getting on my nerves.” “Ok son I just want you to know how sorry I am and how much I’m grateful for you and the next time someone is choking and you save their life I’m going to be the first one to tell you how proud I am.” “And I’ll be the first one to tell you how proud I am of you Dad when you arrest someone.”

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“That’s a deal Steve now come on let’s go out to eat I’m starving.”

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The End

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