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Carol

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It was a Wednesday afternoon in the hospital. Everything in there seemed normal. People were being rushed in to the emergency room, people were being discharged and the noise level was unbelievable. However inside the doctor’s lounge, the one place where the doctors could get away, was quiet and peaceful. Inside of the lounge sat the veteran Dr. Mark Sloan along with his colleagues Dr. Jesse Travis and Dr. Amanda Livingston. They were each sitting sipping their cups of coffee while discussing the day.

??????????? “I think it’s more hectic out there than ever.” Amanda said.

??????????? “No not really,” Jesse replied. “They just don’t seem to have enough manpower or rooms to take care of the situation.”

??????????? Dr. Sloan sat quietly sipping on his coffee. Finally Jesse broke the silence.

??????????? “Mark, is everything alright? You’re awfully quiet.” Jesse said.

??????????? “Oh no, I’m fine Jess.” Mark answered. “I’ve just been thinking about Steve.”

??????????? “Steve?” Amanda responded. “Has something happened with him?”

??????????? “Oh no Amanda.” Mark replied. “Everything is fine. His leg is back to 100% and we were able to solve that other murder. It’s just that_” Mark trailed off.

??????????? “What is it Mark?” Jesse replied. “Is something wrong between you two?”

??????????? “It couldn’t be better.” Mark replied. “I guess I’m just worried because it’s almost been a year.”

??????????? “ A year since what?” Amanda asked.

??????????? “Amanda, it’s almost been a year since_” Mark trailed off once again.

??????????? “Since Carol died.” Jesse responded. The memory came back all to well for Jesse. Mark and Steve were a wreck that week. He worried about Mark, but especially Steve because he’s not the type of person that lets his emotions go.”

??????????? “Oh Mark. I’m SO sorry.” Amanda said. “I should have remembered. What’s wrong with me?”

??????????? “Amanda, it’s okay. NO ONE wants to remember that experience.” Mark said. “I’m just worried that Steve hasn’t completely come to closure with it and with the anniversary coming up, it sure will jog his memory.”

??????????? “Mark, I don’t think anyone can come to closure with that.” Amanda said.

??????????? “Of course not Amanda.” Mark replied. “I myself haven’t even come to a complete closure on it. I mean, living longer than your youngest child. It’s hard. I just think Steve never did the things he wanted to do for her or say the things he wanted to say to her when she passed away, and I don’t want that feeling to keep coming back into his mind every year.”

??????????? “Well Mark.” Jesse said. “I could talk to Steve. We could even plan something like a memorial service in honor of her and if Steve needs to say anything he can.”

??????????? “I think that would be a great idea.” Amanda said. “What do you think Mark?”

??????????? “Well, Steve is coming around later on to go to eat so how about I suggest that you and Jesse come over for dinner. Then maybe you, Jesse, can pull him aside casually and ask him if he’s been thinking about it. Then we can decide from there.”

??????????? “Sounds great to me!” Amanda said. Just let me know what time. If you want, I’ll bring CJ along. He always seems to lighten the mood when Steve isn’t feeling well and things of that nature.”

??????????? “That would be great Amanda.” Mark said. “Thank you both, I appreciate.”

??????????? Just as the conversation had ceased Steve entered the room.

??????????? “Hi dad.” Steve said. “Are you ready to go to lunch? I know a GREAT BBQ restaurant.”

??????????? “It wouldn’t happen to be THE restaurant that I co-own would it?” Mark said.

??????????? “NOTHING gets by you, does it?” Steve said with a bit of sarcasm. They both shared a giggle and headed out for lunch. About 15 minutes later, they pulled up to BBQ Bob’s in Steve’s truck and entered the restaurant. They found a booth and sat down.

??????????? “Steve, I wanted to invite Jesse and Amanda over for dinner tonight.” Mark said.? “Is that going to be alright with you?”

??????????? “Dad, I really don’t feel like having company over tonight.” Steve said as he grew quiet.

??????????? “CJ will be there.” Mark said.

??????????? “Well, I can’t disappoint CJ!” Steve said with delight. “Invite them over.”

??????????? Mark was a bit surprised at the sudden difference in Steve’s tone but he didn’t question. He decided that he would wait until tonight, after Jesse had spoken with Steve.

??????????? Most of the time they spent their lunch talking about each other’s day. About thirty minutes later they finished and headed back to the hospital. Steve dropped his off and bid farewell to his dad until that night.

??????????? “Bye dad.” Steve said. “I’ll be home around six tonight. See you then.”

??????????? “Alright Steve.” Mark replied. “I’ll have Amanda and Jesse come over around seven then.”

??????????? The rest of the day went like clockwork. Steve spent the day working on paperwork, finishing some files, and investigating new murders. Los Angeles was a busy place. People were murdered every minute it seemed. It definitely wasn’t the same as that town that...that...he stopped that thought. The sudden memory of the small town Carol disappeared form entered his mind but it left as quickly as it came.

??????????? Mark spent his day examining patients and filling out paperwork. It went by fast and before he knew it, 5:30 was the time that read on his clock and his shift was over. He went and found Amanda and Jesse.

??????????? “I’ll see you two around 6:30-7:00 tonight?” Mark said.

??????????? “Wouldn’t miss a free meal for the world!” Jesse replied.

??????????? Amanda gave Jesse a playful hit on the arm. Leave it to Jesse to be the way to eat and eat and never gain weight.

??????????? Mark entered the parking garage to the hospital and reached the beach house at exactly six. He was surprised to see Steve’s truck parked in the driveway already. Mark entered the beach house and heard the shower in Steve’s apartment running. He decided he would begin dinner by himself. After all, Steve was a lousy cook sometimes. Mark always wondered to himself how his son could own a restaurant and burn toast. About fifteen minutes later, Steve entered the kitchen.

??????????? “Hey dad.” Steve said. “I didn’t even hear you come in the house. You must have come in while I was taking a shower.”

??????????? “Yeah I did.” Mark said. “I didn’t expect you to be here when I arrived.”

??????????? “Oh well I left work early today. I cleared it with the captain.” Steve said.

??????????? Together father and son finished the meal. At around 6:45, dinner was nearly done and the doorbell rang.

??????????? “I better go get that.” Steve said. “It’s probably Amanda and Jesse.”

??????????? Sure enough, Steve opened the door and there stood Amanda and Jesse with CJ standing between the two of them. He quickly grabbed CJ and picked him up, lifting him high over his head.

??????????? “Hey there CJ!” Steve said. “How you doing?”

??????????? “Hey Uncle Steve!” CJ said as he giggled. Steve lowered CJ back to the ground and gestured Amanda and Jesse in.

??????????? “So Steve, what’s for dinner?” Jesse said.

??????????? “Can’t you think about anything other than food?” Steve asked with a bit of sarcasm.

??????????? “You know me Steve. I can’t go without 6 good meals a day.” Jesse replied.

??????????? “Well to answer your question, dad and I have prepared a salad. He’s also making rice and a potato salad. I’m going to put the chicken and hamburgers on the grill now that everyone is here.” Steve said.

??????????? “Wow that sounds great.” Amanda said. “Anything I can do?”

??????????? “Just make sure Jesse doesn’t eat the entire kitchen before dinner is ready.” Steve said with sarcasm again. Everyone laughed.

??????????? “Haha very funny.” Jesse replied. “Steve, do you have any beer in the fridge?”

??????????? “Sure do Jess.” Steve replied. “And if you look in the bottom shelf in the very back there’s some light beer there for Mr. Light beer himself.”

??????????? “Aww thanks.” Jesse said with sarcasm. “You shouldn’t have.”

??????????? Steve went onto the deck to cook the chicken and hamburgers and returned not long after with everything ready. Everyone settled down at the table and enjoyed the meal.

??????????? “So Steve, are there any new cases your dad and I can snoop around for?” Jesse asked.

??????????? “I’m afraid not Jess.” Steve said. “It’s surprising how many people have been slipping up when they commit murder lately. It’s like they want you to figure out it was them.”

??????????? “If you ask me, any person who commits murder is psycho and deserves to be locked up.” Amanda said.

??????????? The rest of the meal was spent talking to each other about current events as well as complimenting on how Jesse continued to eat.

??????????? “Do you ever slow down?” Steve asked referring to Jesse’s eating habits.

??????????? “Only when I sleep.” Jesse replied. Everyone laughed.

??????????? Finally, even Jesse was full, so Amanda helped Mark clear the table and cleanup. CJ went into the living room to watch a show and this gave Jesse and Steve the perfect opportunity to talk. Jesse grabbed two beers from the refrigerator, one light for himself and one for Steve and gestured Steve onto the deck.

??????????? Jesse and Steve walked onto the deck and sat down. They sat quiet for a moment and looked out from the deck onto the ocean. Finally Jesse broke the silence.

??????????? “Steve, has anything been bothering you lately?” Jesse asked.

??????????? “No Jess.” Steve replied. “Why?”

??????????? “Well Steve let’s face it. Your emotions have been up and down like a roller coaster, you haven’t been yourself, and you always seem like you are in deep thought about something.” Jesse replied.

??????????? “Jesse, I’M FINE!” Steve yelled and then realized as he finished his sentence that he had just proved Jesse’s theory correct. He got up from his seat and gestured to the ledge of the deck and looked out.

??????????? “Steve, I know something has been bothering you and I think I know what it is.” Jesse said.

??????????? “Jess, you don’t know anything.” Steve said. “How do you know how I feel?”

??????????? “Well Steve, I can imagine how you feel.” Jesse said. “Why don’t you want to talk about Carol’s death? I know that’s what’s been bothering you.”

??????????? Steve turned to face Jesse and a look of anger entered his face.

??????????? “This has NOTHING to do with my sister’s death. She’s been dead for almost a year now. You don’t know what’s bothering me Jess and as far as I’m concerned, NO ONE does.” Steve said and with that statement he walked down the stairs from the deck into the beach and walked.

??????????? Jesse went to follow Steve when a tap on one of the windows behind him stopped him. He turned to see Mark and Amanda peering through the kitchen window. Apparently they had witnessed the entire event and thought it was best if Steve was left alone.

??????????? Meanwhile Steve walked down the beach thinking to himself. He knew deep down inside that Carol’s death was bothering him. Steve walked to the foot of the ocean and stopped and peered out. The memories of his childhood poured into his mind. Since the time he was young, he had always been close to his sister. He loved her and being her older brother he always protected her. The first day they moved into the beach house Steve took Carol by the hand and led her down to the ocean. When she got stuck in the tree, Steve got her down. When all the neighborhood boys picked on her because she was taller than them, Steve helped her out. Carol had always looked up to Steve and he knew it. He always made sure he was a good role model. He was there for Carol when their mother passed away. ???

??????????? Steve jumped back into reality momentarily until he began to remember the memories, as they got older.

??????????? Carol met Bruce Hilton. From the day Steve met Bruce, he never liked him. Bruce got himself into some trouble and got killed. Carol had changed a lot but after Bruce’s death he and Carol suddenly got close again. They suddenly began sharing the love they had for each other again and Carol even spent the Christmas with them. But as fast as the good times came, they left. Carol met a new guy and ran off.

??????????? Steve jumped back into reality again. Being a cop and all, he was never very emotional. He cried when his mother died though. He remembered how harsh he had been on Carol after she left home the first time and suddenly showed back up. Then he remembered the time he wanted to cry but couldn’t. It was when Carol died. Steve was so upset. His whole life he wanted to protect her but he knew that as she grew up, he could no longer protect her. He was so disappointed with himself when he learned of Carol’s death. He had never actually apologized to Carol and told her how he felt. After her death, his last words to her were -“You will always be in my mind and in my heart.? I love you, Carol.”

??????????? Finally Steve realized it was time to head back home. By the time he reached the beach house, Amanda, CJ, and Jesse had left and Mark was sitting by himself in the living room looking through an old photo album. Steve entered the house and approached his father.

??????????? “What’s that dad?” Steve asked.

??????????? “It’s some old family pictures of Mom, you, Carol, and me.” He said.

??????????? Mark flipped through the book and Steve watched as he looked through the pictures. He watched as they began with a family of four, and then decreased to a family of three. He then watched as the pictures were left with only his dad and him. Steve grew angry inside. Those pictures didn’t have to have only his dad and him. Carol COULD have been in them but instead she chose to run off. When his mom died, she couldn’t help not being in the pictures but Carol could. Steve immediately got up from the couch and headed for his apartment.

??????????? “Good-night dad.” Steve said.

??????????? “Night son.” Mark said.

??????????? Mark knew that Carol’s death was bothering Steve but he couldn’t think of a way to get Steve to admit it. Finally Mark closed the album and headed for his room.

?

??????????? The next morning Steve entered the kitchen in a very cheerful mood.

??????????? “Hey dad!” Steve exclaimed. “What’s for breakfast?”

??????????? “Eggs and bacon.” Mark said. He tried to act as nonchalant as possible about the previous night. He decided he would talk to Amanda and Jesse before approaching Steve.

??????????? Steve and Mark sat and ate their breakfast. Finally Steve broke the silence.

??????????? “So dad, any plans for today?” Steve asked.

??????????? “No not that I know of.” Mark said. “I have work at the hospital today but I don’t think I’m going to do anything else other than that. How about you?”

??????????? “Well I have work today also but I thought maybe I could take everyone to BBQ Bob’s tonight for dinner to make up for last night.” Steve said.

??????????? “What do you mean make up for last night?” Mark asked.

??????????? “Dad, let’s face it.” Steve said. “I flipped out on Jesse last night. I’m sure everyone could hear me, including CJ. I feel horrible.”

??????????? “Steve, if you want to take them out tonight that’s fine, but I’m sure they understand. You were having a bad day and well, they know what tomorrow is.” Mark replied.

??????????? Steve remembered what tomorrow was as well. It was the one-year anniversary of the death of his baby sister, the sister he loved and cared for, the sister he loved and cared for but didn’t tell her when they got older. He promised himself last night before he fell asleep that once Friday rolled around, he would act as though it were any other normal Friday.

??????????? Today was Thursday though and Steve told himself inside that he had to make it up to his friends for his behavior.

??????????? “Dad, tell Jesse and Amanda that we can meet around six for dinner at BBQ Bob’s. I get off work at about 5:30 so I’ll meet you there alright?” Steve asked.

??????????? “Sounds great to me.” Mark said. “I’ll see you then.”

??????????? Steve left the house about five minutes later and headed for work. Mark left the house a few minutes later. Fifteen minutes later Mark reached the parking garage of Community General Hospital. He parked his car and headed straight for the doctor’s lounge to find his two colleagues and close friends, Jesse and Amanda. Sure enough, Mark entered the lounge and there they sat.

??????????? “Hi Mark.” Amanda said. “How’s Steve doing?”

??????????? “Hi Amanda.” Mark said. “Steve’s fine. He’s trying to act as though last night didn’t happen, but he does want to make it up to both of you by having a dinner at BBQ Bob’s tonight.”

??????????? “That sounds good to me!” Jesse said.

??????????? “I’ll be there also.” Amanda said. “Mark, he didn’t mention anything about last night though?”

??????????? “No Amanda.” Mark replied. “He came into the house not longer after you and Jesse left and sat down on the couch next to me. I had taken an old photo album out and he sat quietly with me looking at the pictures. Something must have bothered him about those pictures because he suddenly stood up, and exclaimed he was going to bed.”

??????????? “Mark, you don’t think he blames himself for Carol’s death, do you?” Amanda asked.

??????????? “I don’t know Amanda.” Mark said. “I don’t think he does. I mean we looked and looked for her and even though she died, we found her killer. Justice was served. I thought that brought closure for him.”

??????????? “I don’t think it did Mark.” Jesse said.

??????????? “Neither do I.” Amanda said. “Maybe he doesn’t blame himself for her death, but maybe he hasn’t brought the closure he needs and the anniversary of her death has triggered his memory.”

??????????? “Maybe he’s angry at her.” Jesse said. “I mean Carol wasn’t very close to either of you before she died Mark.”

??????????? “Maybe Jess. You both may be right.” Mark replied. “Let’s not bring anything up tonight though. I’ll talk to him tomorrow. After all it is the anniversary of Carol’s death.”

??????????? “Mark, are you sure about this?” Amanda said.

??????????? “I don’t think I have a choice Amanda.” Mark said. “I can’t have Steve acting like this each and every year this day comes around.”

??????????? Mark stood up and left the lounge. Jesse and Amanda sat there not sure as to what to do. The rest of the day went well and before any of them knew it, it was 5:30 and their shift had ended. It was time to meet Steve at BBQ Bob’s.”

??????????? The three of them entered the restaurant and inside they found Steve already waiting. Steve caught glimpse of Amanda, Jesse, and his father as they walked in and stood up.

??????????? “Hi everyone.” Steve said. “Thanks for coming.”

??????????? “Hey I wouldn’t miss a meal for the world.” Jesse said.

??????????? “I believe that.” Amanda said. “You wouldn’t miss a meal if your life depended on it.”

??????????? Everyone, including Steve, laughed. They sat down together and enjoyed their meal. Before they knew it, it was already 9:00.

??????????? “Wow, it’s 9:00 already.” Mark said.

??????????? Amanda looked down at her watch. “Oh my god where has the time gone.” She said. “I better get going.”

??????????? “I’ll walk you out.” Jesse said. “I have to be in work early tomorrow anyway.”

??????????? Amanda and Jesse walked out of BBQ Bob’s. Mark helped Steve put the dishes into the sink in the back and they then left. Mark followed Steve’s truck the entire ride back to the beach house. Once there, they walked inside. Steve went to the kitchen to grab a beer before settling on the couch. Mark entered the house behind Steve and joined him on the couch.

??????????? “What are you thinking about?” Mark asked.

??????????? “Oh nothing dad.” Steve said.

??????????? “Steve, I know you’re thinking about something.” Mark said.

??????????? “I’m just thinking about this one murder case.” Steve lied.

??????????? “Oh really.” Mark said. “What’s it about?”

??????????? Steve became agitated. “Dad, it’s real complicated and Captain Newman is really trying to keep this one at a low profile.”

??????????? Mark could tell by Steve’s voice that he was getting agitated so he dropped the subject.?????

??????????? “Sorry Steve. I didn’t mean to be real nosy.” Mark said.

??????????? “Oh it’s fine dad. You know how the Captain is.” Steve replied. He was surprised that his father dropped the subject so easily. Steve took the last swig of his beer.

??????????? “If you don’t mind, I think I’m going to bed now.” Steve said.

??????????? “I’m tired myself.” Mark replied. And with that, Mark got up from his seat on the couch and headed for his bedroom.

Steve threw away his beer bottle and headed downstairs towards his apartment. He changed and sat in his bed staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t sleep and he knew why. Images of Carol kept entering and exiting his mind. He knew what he had to do.

He got up from his bed and headed over to the small desk he had in his room. He switched on the light and pulled out paper and a pen. He grabbed the pen in his left hand and began a note:

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??????????? Dear Carol,

??????????? ?? All of my life, I tried and tried to protect you. Since the time you were born, I was your big brother and protector. As you got older, you slipped away from me, out of my reach. We use to be so close. We would play together, go down to the beach, and even make up adventures. There was even that time when I got sick when I was six and I made you promise not to tell dad or mom. You kept your word to me.

??????????? Then all at once things changed. I entered the Police Academy and you met Bruce. I didn’t like him at all, I never did, but you liked him so I did my best to like him. Then suddenly I come home one day and dad tells me you’re going to Vegas for the weekend. I thought nothing of it until you never returned. I sat up for days and days waiting for a phone call and finally got it. You called and said you would be home shortly. Eight years passed though and you suddenly showed up at the hospital.

When I first saw you, I was upset. Life had been all right and I had finally come to reason that you were happy with Bruce and didn’t want to be with dad and I. Suddenly Bruce dies and you and I are both almost killed. We finally grew close again and I felt that you finally had overcome everything that happened. You stayed that Christmas with us and it was one of the best Christmas’s I had since mom died.

As fast as you re-entered my life, you left it. I didn’t think twice. I came to reason that dad and I really weren’t worth your time and that you were happier somewhere else. Then last year, dad surprised me by throwing a party at BBQ Bob’s for my birthday. He finally confessed that you were coming, but you didn’t show up. Dad got worried but I knew that you just didn’t care. I was wrong Carol and I’m sorry. Even after dad went looking for you, I didn’t. I stayed home and convinced myself you just decided you had better things to do. I knew dad needed me though so I went for him. That’s when everything went downhill. We finally found you, dead with your new husband. Dad was torn up and so was I. We never got to see you one last time to say goodbye or tell you how much we loved you. Instead we had to identify your body and plan your funeral. It was hard on both of us; you were my baby sister and dad’s youngest child.

Months after your death I would stay up late wondering to myself how I could change everything that happened between me and you in the past. I never meant to be so harsh on you when you got older. I never meant to hurt you Carol. I just wanted to remain your protector and I knew I couldn’t. It killed me inside knowing it. It made me mad knowing that you could have been a part of our life during the past l2 years. You chose not to though and that angered me. When mom died, she couldn’t help it that she wasn’t in all of those family pictures. You could have come home during the holidays and all though to be a part of our Christmas picture and the other special occasions but you didn’t and to this day that angers me.

When you died, I wanted so bad to catch the creep that did that. I knew I couldn’t be there for you any longer. I never gained the closure I needed to get, but writing this letter helps and I hope you one day get to read this. Good Bye Carol. You’re my shining star and I’ll never forget you.? You will always be in my mind and in my heart. I love you, Carol.

??????????????????????????????????

?????????????????????????????????? Love Your Big Brother and Protector,

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? Steve

?

Steve finished his letter, read it over once and sealed it in an envelope and wrote his sister’s name across the front. He placed it on the desk, turned off the light and hopped back into his bed. It didn’t take him long to drift asleep.

The next morning Steve awoke, showered, dressed, and headed for the kitchen. Once there he poured himself a cup of coffee.

“Morning Steve.” Mark said. “You’re up a little earlier than usual today.”

“Oh well I have some things to do.” Steve said.

“Are you working on that case you were telling me about the other night?” Mark asked.

“No dad. That was a lie as if you couldn’t tell.” Steve said.

“Yep I knew Steve.” Mark asked. “What is it you have planned?”

“Well actually I called out of work today.” Steve asked.

“Why’s that?” Mark asked.

“I decided I would visit Carol’s stone instead dad.” Steve said.?????????

“Would you mind if I came along?” Mark asked.

“No dad, she was your daughter.” Steve said. “If you don’t mind, I would like a few moments when we’re there to talk to her myself though.”

“That’s fine with me.” Mark said.

The two of them left the house and headed for Steve’s truck. Once inside, Steve and Mark headed for where they had placed Carol’s stone. It was a memorial for her. After all, Steve threw Carol’s ashes into her favorite hills. Though, there was no body buried there, it was still a tribute to her, a tribute reminding everyone who Carol was. Finally, Steve’s truck pulled up to the cemetery. They went in and pulled up near Carol’s stone. Both father and son stepped out of the truck and walked over to the stone that read the name of the woman both men deeply loved.

Steve pulled the letter out of his pocket.

“What’s that?” Mark asked.

“It’s a letter I wrote to Carol last night dad.” Steve said. “I wrote everything I ever wanted to say to her, both good and bad. I decided after I wrote it that I was going to come here and see her. Maybe she’ll read it.”

“Maybe Steve.” Mark said. “When mom died, I did the same thing. I never left it at her grave though. I kept it in a drawer in my bureau for years and years and finally decided to deliver it to her grave. I asked the undertaker if he wouldn’t mind burying it next to her grave, for my sake and he agreed.”

“I never knew that.” Steve said.

“No one did.” Mark said. “I just woke up one day and decided it was time to give it to her. Do you mind me asking what you wrote?”

“Well, I told her how mad I was at her for running off on us numerous times, and she angered me when she didn’t show up for special occasions like Christmas or your birthday. I told her I was angry because after mom died, she couldn’t help it that she wasn’t in our family pictures, but Carol chose not to be in the pictures by not being with us.” Steve said.

“What else did you write?” Mark asked.

“I went into the positive things dad.” Steve said. “I told her how I enjoyed my life as her older brother and protector and that no matter how mad I was I loved her. I told her I never meant to hurt her and my last words to her were I love you.”

“That’s nice Steve.” Mark said. “I think she’ll be delighted to read it.”

“I hope you’re right dad.” Steve said.

Steve reached into his pocket and pulled out a plastic bag He placed the envelope inside the bag and dug a hole deep enough to put the envelope in and cover it up.

“Would you like me to leave you alone Steve?” Mark asked.

“No dad, I think I finally came to closure. She’s gone and I know it but that doesn’t mean I can’t think about her or love her or care about her still. She’s my baby sister.” Steve said.

“And she’s my daughter.” Mark said.

“Good bye Carol. I love you and miss you very much. I won’t forget you. Say hi to mom for me.” Mark said.

Mark places a reassuring arm around Steve’s shoulder as Steve stood over the grave.

“You will always be in my mind and in my heart. I love you Carol. I always will.” Steve said and with that father and son turned around and hopped back into the truck.

During the ride home, Steve knew he had done the right thing and his mind was finally at ease.

They reached the beach house and went inside. It was already late afternoon. Father and son decided to go for a walk along the beach. They exited the beach house, went onto the deck, and down the stairs until they reached the sand from the beach.

The entire walk they spent mostly talking about memories of both Carol and Katherine. They were good memories though and after each one was mentioned they would laugh hysterically at all the funny moments. They both lost track of time as they noticed the sun beginning to set in the distance.

“I think we better head home dad.” Steve said.

“I think you’re right.” Mark replied. “The sun is beginning to set and I’m getting tired anyway.”

Neither Mark nor Steve realized how far they had walked away from the beach house. By the time they got back. It was completely dark and their light source was from the moon above. They entered the house and parted their separate ways.

The next day went like clockwork. Both Steve and Mark woke up, dressed, ate breakfast together, and headed off for work.

Mark reached Community General and wasn’t surprised to find Jesse and Amanda waiting for him.

“Mark, are you alright?” Amanda asked.

“I’m fine Amanda. Why?” Mark asked.

“You never showed up for work yesterday. We tried calling you but no one answered.” Jesse said.

“Oh Amanda, Jesse, I am SO sorry.” Mark said. “I called out of work last minute yesterday and told someone to inform you two. I guess no one did.”

“Where were you?” Amanda asked.

“Steve decided to go see Carol’s stone and I went along with him.” Mark said.

“How did it go?” Jesse asked.

“It went well, VERY well, and Steve finally opened up. He wrote a letter to Carol, buried it next to her stone and said goodbye. Then he turned to me and told me straight out that he made closure and that he was going to be okay.” Mark said.

“Oh Mark that’s GREAT news!” Amanda said. “I’m so glad to hear that.”

“Mark that is good news.” Jesse said.

“Yes, I hope so.” Mark said. “I just hope that if Steve still needs to talk, he will.”

Mark left the lounge and headed for his rounds.

?

For the next two weeks, everything went like clockwork. Both Mark and Steve worked straight without a day off. Neither had much time to talk except for in the morning and after work. Mark hadn’t even been involved in any of Steve’s cases lately.

Steve had been working on a tough case. A young woman was found murdered and Steve knew deep inside that the brother had killed her. However, he couldn’t find any hard evidence that he did it. Sure he had a lot of substantial evidence but the defense would sure fight every piece of it. His alibi was also pretty good. Steve worked all day every day trying to get a lead or a break in the case.

Today, he decided he would go back to the brother’s house and question him some more. The suspect’s name was Jeffrey King. When Steve arrived at the door, he was surprised to see it open immediately, before he could even knock.

“I told you Sloan.” Jeffrey said. “I don’t know nothing about my sister’s death. You stay out of my life now cause you’re gonna be sorry.”

Steve couldn’t believe what he heard. Another punk was going to try to scare him.

“You listen up Jeff.” Steve replied. “I don’t care who you are or what you do, you’re going down for murder and I’ll make sure you get life in prison. I wouldn’t dare grant you the death penalty.”

And with those words Steve strode away from the house, into his car.

“You’ll pay Sloan.” Jeffrey said.

Steve spent the rest of the day back at the precinct.

?

At about 5:30, Mark left the hospital and headed for home. He pulled up to the beach house and entered the house. It was quiet, and empty. He walked in and entered the kitchen and grabbed a soda. AS he entered the living room, a figure grabbed him and covered his mouth with a cotton pad.

“I told you, you would pay.” Jeffrey said as Mark slowly slipped unconscious.

Steve got off work around 6:00. He immediately left and headed home. He reached the beach house at about 6:30. He saw his dad’s car parked in the driveway. He parked behind it and headed for the house. He went to open the front door and found it locked. Steve wondered to himself why his father had the door locked. Mark never locked the door when he was home. Steve began to wonder if something was wrong. Steve began to dial Jesse’s cell phone as he unlocked the door. Jesse answered right as Steve pulled the key out of the hole and opened the door.

“Hey Jess, is my dad there?’ Steve said.

“No Steve he left about an hour ago. Anything wrong?” Jesse asked.

At that moment Steve saw the figure in the living room. It was Jeffrey King and the figure lying in front of him was his father’s. Steve dropped the phone and it hit the ground.

“Steve?” Jesse said as he heard the loud crash. That’s when the phone disconnected.

“Oh my god dad.” Steve said. He went towards his father.

“Oh no you don’t.” Jeffrey said. Steve saw as he raised a 9 millimeter from his right hand and pointed it towards Steve. “You make one move and I’ll kill you.”

“What have you done to my father?” Steve asked. “If you hurt him, I’ll kill you myself you son of a bitch.”

“Oh, you’re going to save daddy?” Jeffrey asked. He was mocking Steve. “Relax, it’s just a little chlorophyll. He’ll be awake soon and then the fun can start.”

“There’s not to going to be any fun.” Steve said. “You’re going to by arrested and I’m going to make sure you live your life in jail.”

Mark began to stir.

“Looks like daddy might be waking up.” Jeffrey said.

“Dad, can you hear me?” Steve was yelling to his dad hoping he would wake up.

“Oh he won’t be conscious for some time still.” Jeffrey said. “We’ll make sure he still enjoys the festivities.” Jeffrey delivered a kick to Mark’s ribs that made his whole body scrunch up.

“You bastard.” Steve said. He began to move closer to Jeffrey. He was only a few feet away when the gun was lifted back towards his face.

“You move any closer and I’ll blast a bullet between your eyes.” Jeffrey said.

“You touch him again and I’ll blast a bullet right through your heart.” Steve said.

Jeffrey laughed and Steve knew he was sick. Jeffrey kept the gun pointed to Steve while he moved into the kitchen to get a beer. He grabbed two and threw one at Steve.

“We might as well enjoy this.” Jeffrey said as he opened it up and took a swig.

Steve decided that he had to play along with Jeffrey, as long as it would keep his father alive. He opened his beer and took a sip.

“Nice place you got here.” Jeffrey said. “Maybe I’ll just kill the two of you and live here.”

“You think you could actually do that?” Steve said.

“Are you kidding? I wouldn’t dare kill both of you at the same time.” Jeffrey said.

?

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ~*~

?

Meanwhile Jesse began to worry. He tried Steve’s cell phone repeatedly with no answer. He then called Mark’s phone only to find that it was turned off. When he called the beach house, the line was busy. Jesse knew something was terribly wrong.

?

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ~*~

?

For the next thirty minutes, Mark lay on the floor still unconscious. Jeffrey had begun to settle down. He sat on the couch and allowed Steve to continually check on his father. He had been careful and smart though. He removed Steve’s handcuffs and gun from him. He thought he was the one in control.

Steve sat hovering over Mark wondering how to get him to a hospital. He watched Jeffrey closely. He paid attention to his mannerism and tried to find a way to get the gun away from Jeffrey. Steve watched as Jeffrey got up and looked out the glass windows towards the beach. He knew Jeffrey could see his reflection, but he assumed that by the time it all focused, he would have control of the gun.

Slowly, Steve crept towards Jeffrey. In one giant lung, he leaped towards him. Steve threw Jeffrey off guard and both of them went through the glass windows. They began to struggle as they approached the edge of the deck. Finally, two gun shots were fired, and both men went over the top of the deck hitting the sand hard. Both lay there, with a pool of blood around them.

?

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ~*~

Jesse reached the beach house along with Captain Newman and a few officers. The door was unlocked and they quickly entered. Jesse found Mark lying on the floor. Mark had finally fully regained consciousness at the time.

“Jesse?” Mark asked confused.

“Mark, listen to me closely. What happened? Where’s Steve?” Jesse asked.

Steve, Mark had no idea where Steve was. Suddenly, the shattered glass caught the attention of Jesse.

“Hey Captain, over here!” Jesse yelled. Jesse and Captain Newman walked out side and saw the shattered glass scattered around the deck. For some reason, Jesse looked over the side of the deck and gasped in horror. Below him laid Steve and Jeffrey, completely limp, covered in blood.

?

“Steve, Steve!” Jesse yelled as he ran down the stairs. He ran over to his friend immediately. He had a bullet in his shoulder and he was losing blood. Jesse checked for vitals and was pleased to find that Steve still had a pulse and was breathing. The fall had done some damage. His collarbone looked like it might be broken and he definitely had a concussion. Captain Newman reached for his cell phone and called an ambulance immediately.

Jesse convinced himself that Steve was okay and went to check on the other guy. He was dead, with a bullet wound in the center of his abdomen. There was no chance of saving him and Jesse decided he had better things to do.

Mark finally reached the deck and collapsed in horror as he saw his son lying there.

“Get him out of here!” Captain Newman yelled. Two officers escorted Dr. Sloan into one of the ambulances outside.

Jesse assessed Steve’s injuries and with the help of the paramedics he was loaded into the back of the ambulance. He quickly hopped in and the flashing lights and sirens escorted them to Community General.

?

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ~*~

Jesse had contacted Amanda so she knew the situation. Captain Newman was going to have Jeffrey King’s body transported to the hospital so that Amanda could be there to help Jesse with Steve and Mark. About 10 minutes later, Mark was brought into the emergency room. He was in and out of consciousness. Amanda took him to an examining room and assessed the damages. She checked his ribs and Mark flinched some. She ordered x-rays which came back negative. Mark was lucky. He ribs were only bruised, not broken. He didn’t even have a concussion. The chlorophyll was causing the loss of consciousness. It would wear off soon and Amanda had to find a way to convince Mark to stay put and let Jesse do his job.

?

Jesse rushed into the emergency room shouting demands.

“Get me a portable x-ray stat!” Jesse yelled. “I’ll also need some type O blood, and a portable IV set up. Let’s move people!”

He wasn’t even inside the trauma room and he already had a thousand people doing a thousand things for Steve. He re-evaluated Steve and concluded that the bullet had fractured his shoulder. An x-ray proved that. Steve was immediately rushed to the Operation Room to have the bullet extracted.

???????????

??????????? The next few hours were touch and go. Steve had just left surgery and Jesse knew that the next twenty-four hours would be the most crucial. People with surgery are highly susceptible to disease and infection. Steve was put in the ICU, which was normal procedure for any patient after having surgery. He was still unconscious, and he had never regained consciousness since the fall. Suddenly Jesse’s pager went off. He looked down and noticed that it was Amanda. He checked his friend over one more time and assured himself he would be alright, and headed for Mark’s room.

?

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ~*~

??????????? “He’s going to be waking up soon.” Amanda said.

??????????? “I can see that.” Jesse said.

??????????? They both sat and watched as Mark began tossing and turning in his hospital bed. Finally his eyes opened and he realized where he was.

??????????? “Jesse, Amanda, where is Steve?” Mark asked.

??????????? “Mark, he’s alright. He’s in the ICU.” Jesse said.

??????????? “THE ICU!” Mark stated. “What happened to him?”

??????????? “Let’s worry about you first. If you cooperate, I may be able to discharge you in an hour or so.” Jesse said. “Do you remember what happened?”

??????????? “I was in the kitchen, and suddenly a man grabbed me and that’s all I remember.” Mark said.

??????????? “Well, you had a nice whiff of chlorophyll in your system but it looks like that has finally worn off. You also have a few bruised ribs but I’m sure you can figure that out yourself.” Jesse stated.

??????????? “Ok. Now how’s Steve?” Mark asked.

??????????? “Mark,” Jesse said. “Steve suffered a fractured shoulder thanks to the bullet wound. He also has a nasty concussion and a few broken ribs. He’s going to be here for a while.”

??????????? “Bullet wound?” Mark asked. “Steve was shot?” Mark could only think about the phone call he received from Chief Masters before telling him his son was shot and on the verge of death.

??????????? “Yes Mark. Steve and the suspect Jeffrey King appeared to have had a struggle. They went through the glass window and over the side of the deck. Steve is very lucky to have only the few injuries he has.” Jesse said.

??????????? “Oh my god. I had NO idea all of that happened. I have to see him Jess.” Mark said.

??????????? “Alright Mark. Give me ten minutes and I’ll get all the paperwork filled out to let you leave and go see him.” Jesse said.

??????????? “Deal, but if you’re not back in twenty minutes, I’m leaving.” Mark said.

??????????? “Like father like son.” Amanda said.

?

?

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ~*~

??????????? “Steve? Steve?” a woman’s voice called to him. Steve opened his eyes. He had no idea where he was. He couldn’t recognize it at all.

??????????? “Steve, can you hear me?” The voice called again.

??????????? Steve looked around. In the distance he saw a woman and she was walking towards him. Suddenly he realized who the figure was.

??????????? “Carol?” Steve’s voice asked. “Is it really you?”

??????????? “Of course it’s me big brother.” Carol asked. “It’s my turn to be your protector.”

??????????? “What are you talking about? WE thought you were dead.” Steve replied.

??????????? “I am dead, and you were badly injured.” Carol said. “I’m here to be with you and make sure you pull through this. It’s not your time to be with me or mom and it certainly isn’t dad’s time to be alone.”

??????????? Steve sat and wondered. Was this all really true? Was everything he was witnessing happening???

??????????? “Steve, I read your letter.” Carol said.

??????????? Steve froze. “I’m sorry Carol. I had to. I never meant to hurt you.”

??????????? “Steve, it’s okay. You were right. When I had problems I would run away from them rather than solve them. It wasn’t right.” Carol said. “I admire you for what you did and I think it brought closure to both of us.”

??????????? Carol’s figure began to fade away.

??????????? “Carol.” Steve said. “Where are you going?? Please don’t leave me again.”

??????????? “Steve, I told you. It’s not your time.” Carol said. “You will always be in MY mind and MY heart. I love you Steve.”

Carol’s figure completely disappeared from the picture and Steve felt himself slipping away from it as well.

“I love you too Carol.” Steve said

?

?

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ~*~

“Steve, Steve?” a voice asked.

Steve’s eyes flustered opened. He could hear a voice calling him. Was it Carol’s? Was it really all a nightmare? He opened his eyes and saw the familiar surroundings. He was in Community General. He thought for a moment about why he would be here and suddenly he remembered, Jeffrey King.

“Welcome back.” Amanda said.

“How are you feeling?” Jesse asked.

“Steve, are you alright?” Steve looked and noticed the voice was of his father.

Steve tried to speak but realized something was caught in his airway. He panicked and began to thrash.

“Steve calm down.” Mark said.

“Steve!” Jesse exclaimed. “Listen to me buddy. We have a tube in your throat to help you breathe. It’s still there and I know it has to be uncomfortable. Relax and I’ll take it out okay.”

Steve slowly calmed himself and kept his breathing under control.

“Okay, take a deep breath, and then push out.” Jesse said.

Steve did as told and as he pushed out, Jesse pulled the long tube helping him breathe out of his mouth. Steve coughed violently.???

“It’s alright Steve.” Mark said. “That happens with every patient who has a breathing tube.”

Steve tried to speak but his mouth hurt. “How long have I been here?”

“About a week.” Mark asked. “Do you remember what happened?”

Steve thought about it and remembered.

“I walked in the house. The door had been locked. I found you lying there and Jeffrey King with a gun. We sat for a while, but he let his guard down. I jumped after him and we went through the glass. Two shots were fired, and we both went over the top of the deck. I felt a thump and then everything went black.” Steve said.

“Well, that would explain a lot of your injuries as well as a lot of missing pieces in the puzzle.” Mark said.

“What happened to King?” Steve asked.

“Dead.” Amanda said. “The autopsy report concluded that he died from a broken neck. If he wouldn’t have fallen over the deck, he would have died from his self inflicted gun shot wound.”

“He shot himself?” Steve asked.

“Not intentionally. You were his target.” Amanda said.

The four of them sat quietly for a few moments.

“Well Steve. We’re going to leave you and you should get some sleep.” Jesse said. As they neared the door, Steve spoke.

“I saw her.” Steve said.

Amanda, Jesse, and Mark stopped in their tracks and looked at each other. They then turned to Steve who was staring at the ceiling. They turned around and walked back over to his bedside.

“Steve, are you alright?” Jesse asked.

“I saw her. I saw her.” Steve said again.

“Saw who Steve?” Amanda asked.

“I saw her. I saw Carol.” Steve said. “She was right there, talking to me dad.”

??????????? “Steve, Carol died. She’s been dead for a year. How could you have seen her?” Mark asked.

??????????? “Dad I’m not dumb. I don’t know how I saw her or where I saw her, but I know I did. She talked to me dad, and she proved to me it was her.” Steve said.

??????????? “How could she do that?” Amanda asked.

??????????? “I wrote her a letter. She told me she read it. She said it was okay and that she loved me. She was happy dad. She was with mom.” Steve said and a tear rolled down his face.

??????????? Mark had also begun to show some tears. “I believe you Steve. We both loved her and mom.” They embraced in a hug.

??????????? “You know what her last words to me were dad?” Steve asked.

??????????? “What?” Mark asked.

??????????? “You will always be in my mind and in my heart. I love you Steve.” Steve said. “I wrote those words to her in my letter. She heard me.”

??????????? Father and son wrapped each other in a hug for a few minutes. Jesse and Amanda decided to step out and let them be alone. Finally, Mark also left the room and joined his friends, knowing that Steve would be okay.

?

TWO WEEKS LATER

?

??????????? “Jess, I’m not a little kid. I think I can handle this myself.” Steve said to Jesse as he was being wheeled out of Community General.

??????????? “Steve, you’re still not 100%. You’re going to be spending the next week or so at home resting. Besides, wheeling the patients out is hospital policy. You should know that by now.” Jesse replied.

??????????? “Haha very funny.” Steve said.

??????????? Jesse and Steve left Community General and entered the parking garage. Jesse unlocked his car and helped Steve in. He then hopped in and drove back to the beach house. Steve knew what would be awaiting him. His dad, Amanda, and CJ would all be there awaiting his arrival.

??????????? Soon enough Jesse and Steve pulled up to the beach house and climbed out. Jesse provided a shoulder for Steve to lean on, but it didn’t seem like he needed it. Still, Jesse stayed close by his friend’s side just in case.

??????????? They reached the door of the beach house and went inside. Sure enough a giant banner was hanging which read: WELCOME HOME STEVE! CJ ran up to Steve and gave him a hug.

??????????? “Be gentle CJ.” Amanda said. “Uncle Steve still is a bit hurt.”

??????????? “Oh it’s okay.” Steve said. “I’m glad to be home.”

??????????? “And home is where you’ll be for a few more days.” Mark said.

??????????? The five of them sat and enjoyed their evening. Finally the evening had come to a cease and the guests left. Jesse left Mark the medication Steve was supposed to take. This allowed Mark to make sure his son followed doctor’s orders. Mark escorted Jesse out and came back in the house. He took a seat next to his son.

??????????? “How ya felling?” Mark asked.

??????????? “I’ll admit it’s a bit sore.” Steve said.

??????????? “It will be for a few days. That’s what the medicine is for.” Mark replied.

??????????? “Are you okay dad?” Steve asked. “I haven’t really talked to you about that day.”

??????????? “Steve I’m fine. There’s no need to worry.” His father replied. “I’ve had plenty of people come after me before and Jeffrey King is dead now anyway. It’s all over.”

??????????? “Alright dad, but promise me you’ll be more careful.” Steve said.

??????????? “Like how?” Mark asked.

??????????? “Maybe you could try locking the doors.” Steve said with a chuckle.

??????????? “Now why would I do that?” Mark replied with sarcasm.

??????????? The two enjoyed a laugh and decided to call it a night. They each headed for their own rooms.

??????????? Steve still had a week or two of recovering to do. He still had some sore ribs, and his shoulder had not completely healed from the bullet wound. Steve lay awake in his bed for a few moments thinking about the past couple weeks, the nightmare with King, and the encounter with Carol.

??????????? “Good night Carol.” Steve said. He rolled over, closed his eyes, and slept.

?

The End
?

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